Week 6-7; 60's Power-Pop; The Value of Drinking Alone

It's been awhile since the last update, so I figured we'd talk about everyone's favorite topic: fantasy football.

First on the agenda is free-agency madness. I have acquired free-agent gems recently, so if you'll allow me, I'll share them.

1. Big Ben: Sure, he assaulted a girl in a restroom. Who hasn't? As long as he passes for a few a week, I'll allow him some indiscretions. Shit happens, right?

2. Tim Tebow. And what I mean by "Tim Tebow" is: "Tim Tebow is going to annihilate the Miami Dolphins." I hate Tim Tebow. I hate the Florida Gators, the SEC, and his poor mechanics. I hate his stereotypical, self-righteous-sports-religion, but you know what? I love his fantasy potential. Rushing touchdown? Yes, please. Passing despite terrible mechanics? Sure! It doesn't matter if it's pretty, just score me points Jesus H. Football!

3. Carson Palmer: a.k.a.: Trade Fodder. That's right. There will be someone, mark my words, in deeper leagues that needs a quarterback. And who's gon' be there for sweetie? Yep. Big poppa. I'm accepting trade offers.

Second on the agenda is my awesomely-timed trade.

Matt Shaub and Andre Johnson for Matt Forte.

Yep. Matt is not a sure-thing, although wonderfully consistent. That seems like an oxy-moron, but he's fluctuated in points recently, and also has some nagging injuries. Couple that with AJ's injuries, and the fact that they're teammates, and I was thinking fire sale. AJ will probably pull out of this, as will Shaub, but I'm thinking Forte is a great deal for the two of these chumps, especially given the fact that I'm soon to have Matt Ryan as a backup to Big Ben and Tim Tebow. Hell, if Carson Palmer shows up, maybe I'll give him a start when I'm feeling ballsy.

Fact remains: Matt Forte is going to tear it up this week. Good trade? Try great.

Also great: Tommy James and the Shondells, underrated kings of '60's power-pop. "I Think We're Alone Now," "Mony, Mony," "Draggin' the Line," "Sweet Cherry Wine" and "Crimson and Clover" are the most, and I repeat, THE MOST underrated '60's songs, period.

Are they in the rock 'n roll hall of fame? They should be.

Finally: I enjoy colons: and drinking alone. It provides me with a sense of clarity that I could otherwise not attain. When people talk I tend to cringe, and that hurts my writing.

Here's to Captain Morgan, a keyboard, and Kanye: you inspire me.